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S_to_the_Ailor06
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Name: Laura
Interests: having fun*musicº
pineapples*sailing
ºsummer*artº
running*late night
phone convosº
showers*snorkeling
ºbiking*my car
ºfashion*an
irresistable beatº
Cat*my lifeºboyz
*basketballº
sunshine*my
futureºNicole*
knittingºreading
*movie marathons
ºStephanie*
Christinaºthe
sunfish*launching
the poleºSteely
Dan*Right to Life
ºsimplicity
Expertise: maybe, if you are nice to me, i will SHOW you one of these days... as long as you are a guy... sorry girls :-)
Message: message me
AIM:  SailorChick4Rur
AIM:  TerraFirmaSailor
Member Since:
1/15/2005
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| I have been thinking a little bit lately about why I have this thing. I mean, I know xanga has a lame rep in that it was neato when I was 14, howev. I like having a place to chronicle my thoughts that is not posted right in front of my master list of acquaintances (fbook & myspace). Electronic files that don't save to my personal hd are a beautiful thing b.c they keep my life clutter-free, and why leave xanga for another blogging site (well I do have my mblog thru UofM lol)? Plus, I've heard that xanga is like a 20 person operation...if you are, if you guys read this stuff, I hope things are cool. I'm learning C++ right now, so I feel for you programmers...
Ah ok, that said, I'm gonna start putting more of my proj. ideas on here...tho i'm worried about loosing good ideas to ppl reading this stuff, I feel like these posts are pretty private, and that this whole set up is more to have a personal chronicle of me for myself.
My entry today is inspired by some googling. Two days ago I got an email from my dean about an event sponsored by BAMN (By Any Means Necessary, a radical group committed to preserving affirmative action as we know it today—that is, race-based overall). What you should know about the Art School dean is that we don't really know him. Our 2nd in command, Mary, is mostly who we see/hear/talk to. So, I searched out my mailbox, knowing that I rarely delete anything. Sure enough, the dean has only ever sent us art-school related emails. An exhibition here, a design challenge there. Why the propaganda-event notification? At this point it was 12:30 at night and I was in the fibers studio. And I'd had 2 hours asleep, so naturally, I emailed the dean, but not without first emailing YAF's (Young Americans for Freedom) president. My email to the dean was as follows:
Dear Dean Rogers:
I am glad that you would take the time to share with your students and
staff information on events going on that are significant to our
identities as students, staff members, and community members. However, I
am forced to wonder why this is the only email I have received from you
this year about an event other than an exhibition, the dean's list, or a
design competition.
Do not get me wrong, it is important for us as people in a country of
affluence to be aware of politics and social situations. But I feel that
getting our information from an extremist organization such as BAMN is a
bit irresponsible. How can Kate Stenvig promise that this is a "great
opportunity to see the arguments on both sides of the current legal
battle regarding Prop. 2 and the future of affirmative action" when the
title of the event is Ward Connerly on Trial? BAMN's official website
insists that Connerly is devoted to resegregation which is simply untrue.
While I continue to respect the leftist views inherent to all artists
other than myself, I will also hope that we all remember the true meaning
of the word liberal and search out a variety of sources while forming our
opinions.
Sincerely,
Laura Crookston
I did not really expect him to email back I guess, tho I hoped he would. And then this morning I got:
Laura -
Many thanks for the thoughtful message. I suggest we continue the conversation in person. At your discretion, please contact my assistant, Pat Hodges, 763-4093), to find a time when we can meet after the break.
Looking forward to discussing the several issues which your message brings up.
Best wishes,
Bryan
Ha. A meeting with the dean who I've never personally met about the blatantly liberal tendencies of the art school, of U of M, and of academia in general? So I feel like I need to do a little research yea? I don't even understand...continue the conversation? There's no conversation going on here. I said something, end of statement. He wants to converse about it, and I am flattered about that I suppose. It's good to know you have a voice when it feels like you don't.
Anyways, I googled "conservative artist" to see what I could find. I haven't the time right now to post links (lunch mtg with my future housemates—some of whom I've never met—at 11:30.), but there are a few interesting thing. One lady's blog challenges any reader to even find a social conservative that is a real artist. Personally, I think ppl are way to tight with the artist title. Don't get me wrong, it is certainly not true that every person is an artist, however, I think that a person from any walk of life can be an artist. I guess I think of art as more of a hobby (I wish I had a better word, hobby seems to denote an action that is of little importance, and is not a source of income)...that there can be conservative artists, liberal artists, mathematician artists, doctor artists, priest artists, etc. I suppose there are not many works of art that seem to fight for conservative causes. No shows protesting abortion or gay marriage. But, I'll keep searching for an artist who's conservative view points inform their art to a great degree...
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| Today was my first day at my new job, at Beanster's Cafe on North Campus. My roommate, Alex, got me the job. I'm glad we work together, getting to work by 6:30 AM is so much easier with a buddy lol. I'm so happy to have a job. Getting hired is just the validation I needed, even if it was by association. After putting in 32 unanswered applications last summer, and striking our around 8 times here, I finally have a job. Just in time too, I have about $37 to my name right now, and that's not cutting it lol.
Tonight is the IM inner tube water polo championship game. My sailing team is playing in it against Miracle on Water. I don't know who they are. I swam in one pre-playoff match, so technically I can swim tonight, but I don't know if I should...I'm not that great, and we didn't win the game I was in lol. Altho, I was only in for like 3 min, and goals scored by girls are worth two points instead of one, so I probably will join in. I'm gonna make a poster for our cheer section too...how could I not? (An extremely spirited senior on the team is getting the part of the team that hasn't competed and therefore is ineligible for the match together to be a cheer section for us.) A senior scouted Miracle on Water, and apparently they aren't all that hot, and the winners tonight get t-shirts.
I don't have class until 1:30, but then I have it until 6:30, and our match is at 7:45. I don't know what I'll do in-between those times—probably some math. I guess I'd better get some work done now since I'm gonna be so tired tonight. I was going to do my math web hmwk, but now that I think a bout it, I can do that in Angell hall before the match. Right now I should do my dishes, then go to the art school to work on my fibers project. I need to die to large pieces of fabric, and visit the wood shop to see if I can secure two sizable pieces of wood (or one really huge one). Ugh, now I don't want to do dishes at all...maybe I'll do half...but I'll probably just end up watching tv...oh nvm, lifetime is playing still standing. I have no problem walking away from that... | | |
| To be honest, I'd love a boyfriend right now. But I understand that that is an impossibility...forever. I am alone, and I need to learn how to accept that. I wish I could stop focusing on it. The world would be better off if I focused on my life's work and left it with my input. I have design ideas I want to share. I know this is all I'm here for, and really I am honored to help the human race. A boy would probably fuck all of this up for me. I just wish my stupid brain would take this more easily. At first it was cute, I'd bitch that I was alone, knowing very well that others are alone too. Knowing very well that I am so lucky for all I DO have. Maybe get some sympathy and reassurance from friends who know that's what they're "suppose" to say. And I'm sure they thought/think that I would find someone. But deep down inside, for a while now, I've known this isn't true. I can't imagine it anymore. Can't imagine meaning anything to a guy on both planes, body and mind. It'll always be shallow, or just friendship. Somewhere I fucked up, but it's what's meant to be. Like I said, I have other things to offer the world than meaningless reproduction. Obviously everyone else is breeding, so it's ok if I don't.
To those who say I'm only nineteen so I need to stop this talk: So what, most 19 yr olds I know have or have had (in most cases several) significant others.
Not everyone finds love. I will say that if I ever do, I will probably die of surprise. I probably won't trust the guy. Won't understand why he's wasting time with me. And in the end, be amazed at my luck. But I can be realistic, and I have my health, a great family, and a wonderful mind (that has helped me to see the truth of the matter). | | |
| I absolutely cannot work today. I guess I'm having a hard time because there's no class tomorrow, but I still want to get most of this calculus done so I can just focus on this pop-up page I have to do. It's so tough to have really fun homework, b.c then the hard stuff gets put on the back burner. i went to the help room for calc to try and get it all nailed down, but that sucked. I picked a helper who was not very good at explaining stuff, and I wasn't vocal enough, b.c I barely know what I'm asking. So I just left. I know I have confrontational issues that make me shrink from getting the education I need, but I also feel like it'll be more worth while if I figure it out myself. If I could actually get myself to work right now that'd be great.
Another problem is a-naggin' on my mind as well. It's common theme from all of my entries, so it probably looks like it's constantly on my mind. Maybe it is. Nah, not constantly. It's so stupid. I just keep thinking "Wow, the last time I was a sophomore, I had a boyfriend." And that was the last time. Pathetic? Idk. At the beginning of those 4 years I was pretty ok, started hanging out with new people, had fun. Started to have too much fun. Made choices I was into then, but regret sometimes now. Either way, it all made me what I am, and for the most part, I'm happy with that. But that brings me back to the whole issue...maybe I'm not happy with what it made me, b.c obviously all flawed my ability to connect on a truly satisfying level with the other sex. Okay, I know, I'm sounding emo and that's so not me. lol, and I've been watching too much bring it on. Anyways, what good is this college of 50,000+ students? (that's gotta be like 25,000+ guys, and I see good-looking ones wherever I go) I know if you stop looking, you supposedly find someone, but do I even want anyone? Idk. I guess I just want to go on a date or something. I want to have options. How ironic, the girl who can't make a decision to save her life wants options...I'm gonna go do the calc that I know how to do.
Oh, and I've been listening to A-Trak's album "Dirty South Dance." It's pretty damn great. | | |
| Maybe it'd be good for me if I used this thing.
Tomorrow is my second day of classes of this semester, this week will be the first full week, and it all feels like I have one foot hovering over one of those moving sidewalks. Tomorrow I'll put it down, and bam, it's gonna be craziness and frustration until April 23rd. I'm sure this semester won't be as bad as the last one, but I'm still not thrilled about already being back to class. I'm nervous about intro to comp programming (eventho I'm kinda curious) and calc 3. Even though I'm only taking 15 credits, I'm worried about time management because of those two classes and because I have to get some sort of job. I was hoping to come back to sailing since I did none last semester, but now I don't know. I want to, but my beautiful sched that was gonna make going to prac easier, got ruined (they cancelled Synthetic and Composite Materials, the one class I was super excited to take! Instead of settling for a crappy class to keep a practice-accommodating schedule, I signed up for Paper Engineering. Simone's in it, she was showing me the text book, and it looks sweet. We get to make pop-up books all the time.). Plus it's team racing, and I have not been crewing for anyone in particular. I should be able to make it to more stuff tho, and I miss that. So there's good and bad stuff I guess. My fourth class is fibers for the first 7 weeks, then it switches to print-making (which may be a bad choice for exam time, b.c the repetition takes work I'm told). I hope I get a good job. I applied for a couple food service ones so far, and one at the rec centers.
On the bright side, the second half of the year is always better, b.c I get spring fever. I always get it prematurely however, in swintertime. It'd be nice if I got twitter patted, and some sort of man walked into my life, but I know the likelihood of that. I'm watching Chris Rock, and he was saying women want too much, like they want a soul mate and that's too much to ask. I don't want a soul mate. I just want a date for fuck's sake. I don't want a lot. But maybe not a lot is still too much.
Oh well, when I step on that moving sidewalk tomorrow, I won't have time to think about a man. But it's time for me to get some sleep (or watch more tv...). | | |
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